My name is Catherine, and I am a recuperating compulsive dependent gambler. Though it has been several years since I was began the process of quitting gambling, I can vividly remember the travails I encountered throughout addiction period.
Gambling dependence took just about all things from me such as family, friends, status, work, my house, car, nearly my marriage and cost me more than cash; it virtually cost me my life twice from self-destruction. Concurrently, I was as well hurting from unknown physiological & emotional health challenges and ailments I had no idea about till 2002.
I came from the depths of hell, despondency, and hopelessness.
I opened my eyes in a room at the hospital, I could feel my wrist wrapped up in bandages, I heard people talking about knives, but I lost conscious again. The only thing I can recall was everything turning blank. Presently I know it was an entire personality and body separate. A total system failure. From there I moved to a dependence/mental crisis base.
I was under suicide supervision the first days in the clinic. After a short while, psychiatrist began functioning with me. And as a matter of fact, I was as well a determined gambler too. I began making regular visits to an addiction expert to treat my gambling disorder.
Before that, I tried to cure my gambling addiction on my own because I felt like I could hold myself, but it did not work, I got back to gambling several times, even when I was in the treatment centre. I suppose I had not arrived underneath still.
Even after staying for 20 days in a crisis centre and a failed suicide!
it's known as DEPENDENCE It is an ailment that is really difficult to get over. But possible. What's more, this wasn't my last time I would work this circuit.
Not resulting from seriously betting, because of the financial pressures from this ailment, I had another self-murder attempt in 2006 as it appeared I had not done equal to what is needed in every aspect of recovery, including my financial inventory.
First lesson? A well-balanced recovery plan. But in 2006 I also only wished to be normal, live life in recovery without having to use drugs for mental/emotional problems. In this way, I quit taking them supposing it was recently the betting that was bringing on my dysfunctional behaviour issues of PTSD, hyper discouragement, mellow madness uneasiness and bipolar a sleeping disorder cycles and OCD. Just for two weeks with no medications, I was back to desperation and suicidal thoughts. My answer? I took every one of my meds on the double. I had gotten to that dim, dark gap of misery once more.
Back in the hospital again, another 16-day crisis centre stay and days of self-murder observation.
When they sent me home that time, I had the lessons that I need to be discipline in taking my meds so my mental illness will not bother me again and it stays under control, they called my situation as "dual diagnosis".
Recuperation with even pessimistic encounters, dispersed with some "faith" can show us various life teachings in recuperation. Too bad if I did not get any lessons, I won't see how much I changed in life. Even if you don't get to choose your addiction, you may hit some rocks during recovery, and you should be prepared for it.
First, the practices and actions that we earn and learn within any dependence and "the cycle" of any dependence have to be discontinued and removed for us to have an opportunity at a very honest recovery. Balance is very important in your recovery pathway also. Acknowledge the necessary skills and tools in the therapy to treat your addiction, don't give any space in you for making excuses, refusal, and others.
Second, know that recovery is not an instant process. It is as crucial to accept as the first step.
And third, having a solid 'Relapse Prevention Plan' is essential for anyone who commences recovery and wants it for a relatively long period of time. We all believe that life occurrences take place. Indeed, even upbeat or positive occasions, not simply negative or terrible ones.
I feel it is the reason Gamblers Anonymous put the question forward in our combo book of "The 20 Questions" to know if you have an issue with betting. It is the reason they posture #19.) "Did you ever have a desire to commend any favourable luck by a couple of hours of betting?" YES! For me, even when things wonderful took place, I would need to jubilee by going purportedly to have some "fun" gambling. At that time, my addiction toward gambling was so serious, I tried everything to control myself with, other than Gamblers Anonymous.
I attended gatherings and met a lot of people which assisted me tremendously; the experience of other individuals with cases similar to mine kept me adequately informed of the level of deception inherent in gambling addiction. What's more, GA showed me that it is so imperative to be there for others through recuperation benefit as others were there for me when I was a newcomer.
People need to start opening their minds and be reminded about this subtle addiction. There is a need to demolish the delusions and fabricated stories around addictions. This is the shortest and easiest path to eliminate the shame often associated with the addicted and those on the path to recovery. Yes, mental/emotional sickness in recovery can be a difficult task, but I think by telling people some of my experiences, vigour, and expectation, and sharing some of my stories can be an example that recovery is achievable, and we can live joyful, sound, and productive lives in recovery!